Tell me you hate dating.  That you’re frustrated.  At the end of your rope.  And you bore me to tears.  But tell me why.  Explain yourself.  Open up.  Form an opinion.  Share a viewpoint.  And you’ve got my attention.

What I’d give for a discussion.  To run into someone who just doesn’t know.  But wants to think about it.  Talk about it.  Uncertainty is sexy because it shows an openness to both sides.  To possibilities.  To opportunities.  To a conversation about life.  It shows you have a fucking idea in your head.  And I’m just sayin’.  I mean.  I’m telling you.  My idea.  Your idea.  Let’s see what’s what.

I want to talk to the guy who’s not sure if he wants to ever get married.  The guy who considers not contributing to the overpopulation of our planet — even if it means never getting to experience the making of a human life.  Which is a definite sacrifice.  But a guy who considers that.  Sacrificing.  That’s worth a conversation.

And sure that sounds scary but so does settling for a life less than you want — less than you deserve.  And he doesn’t need to be sure.  I’m sure as fuck not.  In fact I wouldn’t want him to be.  But I can’t be the only person in the world who’s not totally sold on the idea of it all.  One person.  Forever.  (or not, but at least wanting it to last forever).  And not to discount those who jumped and fell — but I don’t mean the person who tried marriage and is now angry and broken and changed their mind.  I just mean the guy who is whole.  Complete.  Fantastic.  And just wants to talk about life and options.

I want to talk about legitimate fears.  Want to talk about weighing notions of happiness and independence.  Want to know what he thinks.  Want an opinion.  Want a perspective.  Want someone to tell me it’s okay to be scared.  That risks are worth it.  That I’ll find an answer in my heart.  Hold my future in the palm of my hand.

Want him to tell me nothing is ever too late and all I can do is live and cherish all I have at the very exact moment that I have it.

Want him to tell me I’d be a good mother.  Protect my cubs over everything.  Show them the world.  Teach them all I know.  Pass down none of what was once so broken in me for so long.  Encourage.  Love.  Teach. Support.  Like my parents have done for me.  Want him to say there are ways to stave off boredom.  That limitless love doesn’t have to limit me.  That there’s a boy out there who will make all the worries bearable.  Because I’ll want to be stupid for him.  I will be stupid for him.  Want to talk about the possibilities.  The open road of our lives.  Together.  Separate.  The potential.  Always loved.

What I’d give for a discussion.  Talk about what life might be like if we chose a certain path.  A distinct life.  Want someone who wants the conversation like I do.  Just because we don’t have to decide now doesn’t me we can’t talk about it.  What I’d give for a discussion.